Blog 11

I chose to read through my first draft of my first paper in this course. I felt it would give me a better understanding of my habits because a lot of editing and polishing of the paper takes place. As I read through the first few paragraphs I could already notice patterns in my writing. I used the word metaphor a lot which could be considered a key term since the topic of my paper was metaphors in medicine. However, I felt like I repeated the word “metaphor” too often in my paper to a point that the repetition was not helping advance my paper. I also used pointing words quite frequently. Most of the time I used them in a proper way that the reader would still understand what I was talking about. However,  a few times I did not do so. For example, In the second paragraph I said “this is not how the researchers thought the audience would understand the metaphor but it does show how everyone can comprehend the same subject or idea in a different way than someone may have intended.” The use of the word “this” in the beginning of the sentence makes the meaning of the sentence very vague and can cause the reader to become confused about what “this” is. I do use transition words when needed but I stick to a select few including, “for example”, “nevertheless”, and “therefore”. I would say I rely on pointing words more than any other device. I found myself underlining pointing words more often than transition words or key words. I would say a passage/sentence that is confusing and I could make clearer would be the sentence above. I would replace the word this and state, “The researchers did not intend for the audience to interpret the metaphor differently but this interpretation does show how everyone can comprehend the same subject or idea in a different way than someone may have planned.”  I feel the wording of the second sentence makes the intent of the sentence more clear to the audience. I would not add a device into this sentence because I do not believe it needs another.